A good chuckle can be a game changer in the classroom. When boredom strikes or morale seems low, laughter is the best medicine. Some jokes even reinforce what students are learning. Need some kid-friendly humor to boost the mood? We’ve got you covered! Here’s a list of cheesy teacher jokes you can share with your students.
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English-Language Arts and Reading Teacher Jokes
From the ABCs to dictionaries, here are some punny jokes to use in your class.
1. I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
2. Which dinosaur has the best vocabulary?
Thesaurus rex.
3. What dinosaur knows the most synonyms?
A thesaurus.
4. Whoever put the letter B in the word “subtle” deserves a pat on the back.
5. What do you call bears with no ears?
B!
6. What do you call Santa’s brothers and sisters?
Relative clauses.
7. What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles—there’s a mile between the first and last letters.
8. What’s smarter than a talking dog?
A spelling bee!
9. Last night, my classroom was broken into and all the dictionaries were stolen.
I’m at a loss for words.
10. Never date an apostrophe.
They’re too possessive.
11. Past, Present, and Future entered a shop together.
It was all quite tense.
12. How is an English teacher like a judge?
They both give out sentences.
13. What do you say to comfort a grammar teacher?
“There their they’re.”
14. What is the shortest month?
May: It only has three letters.
15. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
16. What pencil did Shakespeare write with?
2B.
17. What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction?
Instagrammar.
18. What are double negatives?
A big no-no.
Need more jokes like these? Check out 100 Clever Grammar Jokes and Puns for True Word Nerds.
Math Teacher Jokes
With jokes about angles and rays, numbers, and, of course, pi, math definitely has the most jokes of any discipline.
19. What’s a math teacher’s favorite snake?
A pi-thon.
20. What does a math teacher climb for fun?
A geome-tree.
21. Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
22. Why was the fraction skeptical about marrying the decimal?
Because he would have to convert.
23. Why did Pi get its driver’s license revoked?
Because it didn’t know when to stop.
24. If I had 8 oranges in one hand and 10 apples in the other hand, what would I have?
Big hands!
25. Why was the geometry book so adorable?
Because it had acute angles.
26. Why did the student get upset when the teacher called her average?
It was a “mean” thing to say.
27. What did one penny say to another penny?
We make cents!
28. What’s a math teacher’s favorite place in New York?
Times Square.
29. Why is the corner always the hottest part of the room?
Because it’s always 90 degrees.
30. What’s a math teacher’s favorite season?
Sum-mer!
31. Which king loved fractions?
Henry the 1/8.
32. What do you call a group of friends who love math?
Algebros.
33. Why was the geometry class always tired?
Because they were all out of shape.
34. Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use the algo-rhythm!
35. What do you call a ruler, a protractor, and a compass all hanging out together?
Weapons of math instruction.
36. Where are all the top mathematicians buried?
In the symmetry.
37. Why is the math book so unhappy?
Because it’s full of problems!
38. Did you hear that old math teachers never die?
They just lose some of their functions.
39. Why don’t mathematicians sunbathe?
Because they can use sin and cos to get a tan.
40. Who’s the king of the classroom?
The ruler.
41. How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
42. Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
43. What does the 0 say to 8?
“I like your belt.”
44. Do you know what’s odd?
Numbers that can’t be divided by 2.
45. What did the triangle say to the circle?
“You’re pointless.”
46. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
“Stop going in circles and get to the point.”
47. What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
Square meals.
48. Why is the obtuse triangle upset?
Because he’s never right.
49. Why did the geometry teacher go to the beach?
To catch some rays and angles.
Can’t get enough math jokes? Here are more:
Social Studies, History, and Geography Teacher Jokes
With so much to talk about in social studies—geography, ancient times, modern history—it’s no wonder there are great social studies jokes!
50. Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
51. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisss-tory.
52. What did Mason say to Dixon?
“We’ve got to draw the line here!”
53. What always sits in the corner but can travel around the world?
A stamp.
54. Where did Nicholas Romanov II get his coffee?
Tsarbucks.
55. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.
56. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
57. What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
The same middle name.
58. My friend knows how to read maps better than anyone.
He’s a legend.
59. Why do geographers find mountains so funny?
Because they’re hill areas.
Looking for more? Check out 110 History Jokes We Dare You Not To Laugh At.
Science Teacher Jokes
Science teacher jokes are positively hilarious and will create a bond among students (get it?).
60. What’s your favorite element?
Helium. I can’t speak highly enough about it!
61. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
62. My sister is reading a book on anti-gravity.
She can’t put it down.
63. What do you call it when a biologist takes a photo of himself?
A cell-fie.
64. So you want some puns about rocks?
Give me a minute and I’ll dig some up.
65. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Something between us smells!
66. Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel Prize?
Because he was out standing in his field.
67. Why did the skeleton go to the school dance?
Because he had no body to go with.
68. What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-oh acid.
69. Be like a proton—always positive.
70. How much do neutrons cost?
Nothing. They’re free of charge.
71. What do you call a second-place trophy in an astronomy contest?
A constellation prize.
Want more science jokes? Check these out:
Music and Art Teacher Jokes
Break out some humor in music and art classes.
72. What’s a pirate’s favorite subject?
Arrrrrrt!
73. What do you call a music teacher with problems?
A very trebled person.
74. Why is a piano so hard to open?
Because the keys are on the inside.
75. What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?
Bach in the saddle again.
76. Where do pianists go for vacation?
The Florida Keys.
77. What is a teacher’s favorite type of music?
Class-ical.
78. Why did the music teacher climb a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
We’ve got more jokes like these right here: 125 Cheesy Music Jokes That Hit the Right Note.
School Jokes for Teachers
Here are jokes for the time students spend on the playground, on the bus, and in other areas around the school.
79. Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
80. How do bees get to school?
They ride the school buzz.
81. How do you get Pikachu on a bus?
You poke-him-on.
82. Why was the cafeteria clock behind on the first day?
It kept going back four seconds.
83. Why did the echo get detention?
It kept answering back.
84. What did the buffalo say at school drop-off?
“Bi-son.”
85. Where do pencils come from?
Pennsylvania.
86. Why was the computer cold?
It left its Windows open.
87. What did one pencil say to the other pencil?
“You’re looking sharp!”
Can’t get enough of these jokes? Check out 100 Funny School Jokes.
Corny Teacher Jokes for Everyone
88. Why did the teacher write on the window?
Because the lesson needed to be clear.
89. What’s a teacher’s favorite nation?
Expla-nation.
90. Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because it was time for a “bright” idea.
91. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
92. Why did the teacher jump into the ocean?
To test the waters.
93. Which teachers have the greenest thumbs?
The kinder-garden teachers.
94. What do you call a teacher who forgot to take attendance?
Absent-minded.
95. Why did students like vegetables so much?
Because they were kinder-gardeners.
96. Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane?
Because it was overbooked.
97. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
98. Can I ask you a question?
“You just did!”
99. Time is a great teacher …
Unfortunately, it kills all its students.
100. You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?
Not really.
101. Did you hear about the teacher who got into a car accident?
She was grading papers on a curve.
102. Why did the teacher wear a helmet to class?
He was teaching a crash course.
103. Why did the teachers remove all the scissors from the classroom?
They didn’t want students to cut class.
104. What kind of shoes do ninja teachers wear?
Sneakers.
105. Why did the invisible teacher turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.
106. Why did the teacher go to the eye doctor?
She couldn’t control her pupils.
107. Why are teachers so rude during the summer?
Because they have no class.
108. Student: “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?” Teacher: “Of course not!”
Student: “Good, because I didn’t do my homework!”
109. What did the teacher say to the crayon that aced the test?
“Color me impressed!”
110. Why did the teacher let her students sleep in class?
She wanted to encourage their dreams!
111. Why did the substitute teacher bring a ladder to work?
They told her she’d be teaching high school.
112. How does a vampire teacher check for understanding?
Blood tests.
113. What kind of boat has a teacher for a captain?
A scholar-ship.
114. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says “Spit your gum out,” and the train says “Chew, chew!”
115. Name two reasons why someone would go into teaching.
June and July.
Teacher Jokes About Coffee
We know teachers usually take their coffee pretty seriously, but we still think these will make you laugh a latte!
116. How did the coffee-loving teacher greet her colleagues each morning?
“Have a brew-tiful day!”
117. What’s it called when you steal a teacher’s coffee?
A mugging.
118. How did the teacher know she was drinking too much coffee?
She was named Employee of the Month at Starbucks—and she didn’t work there!
119. Why are Italian teachers so good at making coffee?
They know how to espresso themselves.
120. What’s a teacher’s favorite soup of the day?
Coffee.
Need a latte more jokes like this? Try 80+ Coffee Jokes and Puns To Perk You Up.
Friday Jokes for Teachers
TGIF! Finish out the school week with these fun jokes for kids and teachers.
121. Why did the teacher throw the clock out the window on Friday afternoon?
She wanted to make time fly.
122. Where does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
123. Why didn’t the teacher like jokes about Friday?
His sense of humor was “week.”
124. How does every Friday end?
With a “y.”
125. Why do fish teachers get sad on Fridays?
Because there’s no school on the weekend.
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