Final week we talked about workplace contests gone awry. Listed here are 13 of the funniest tales you shared.
1. The bugs
Early in my profession as a software program engineer, the corporate wished to enhance the standard of the software program merchandise. They supplied money bonuses to the testing groups for locating bugs, and money bonuses to the builders if the bugs had been fastened inside per week. As you may count on, the builders began planting bugs within the code so they might get the bonus for fixing them.
Sadly, testing not often catches the entire bugs. High quality dropped and complaints jumped as prospects discovered the bugs that the testers missed.
2. The squirrel
Once I labored for a metropolis authorities, I served a stint on the Worker Advisory Committee (we hosted events, fundraisers, blood drives, charity runs, and so forth. for workers, as a method of conserving everybody barely happier, I suppose). Anyway, one time we tried a “cutest pet” contest. I don’t even suppose we awarded prizes; it was simply one thing to do and distract ourselves for per week from the monotony of issuing constructing permits and renewing driver’s licenses. All we requested was for contributors to e-mail a photograph of their pet, then we despatched out an e-mail with all the images compiled and requested workers to vote for his or her favourite, anonymously through an internet ballot. Once more, it was ALL optionally available and I don’t suppose we had been even giving out prizes!
One individual despatched in a photograph of a squirrel (in a tree). I keep in mind pondering on the time, “Huh however no matter” (I imply it’s completely cheap that somebody doesn’t even have a pet, possibly they “adopted” their yard squirrel … small native authorities employees are quirky folks!). I included the squirrel pic within the combine (which was principally canines and cats dressed up in little outfits).
Little did I do know this is able to absolutely flip into SquirrelGate – I had so many individuals complain that this was Unfair, Not A Reliable Pet, Animal Cruelty, and so forth. THEN, some dogged detective did a reverse picture search and located the picture got here from a public web site (I feel it was just like the fifth picture that got here up when you google “squirrel”) so the SQUIRREL WASN’T EVEN REAL, and that revelation obtained folks much more mad. I’m completely not kidding – I had extra departments contacting me about this rattling squirrel than I had in my earlier 5 years working for that metropolis. We needed to situation a disclaimer and take away the squirrel votes from the tabulation; it was a Complete Factor. Evidently, it was the final cutest pet contest we placed on. I feel the man who despatched within the squirrel within the first place (as a troll) obtained precisely the response he hoped for.
3. The movies
We had a contest the place we had been alleged to make a video about our staff’s work, besides there was no prize, and it wasn’t optionally available. No one wished to do it, however when you’re going to make us, you’ll get what you get…
We filmed 4 of us sitting at our desks, doing our boring desk jobs, for regardless of the required size of the video was. Then somebody mixed these right into a four-way cut up display screen. Completed. That was our entry. It obtained what may need been the most important snicker on the also-required viewing session, as a result of whereas we actually weren’t the one ones who thought the entire thing was silly, we had been the one ones with the chutzpah to take the project so actually.
4. The sport
I used to be a grad scholar at a really tech-oriented college the place the environment was extraordinarily aggressive and the gender ratio skewed closely male. The computer systems in our lab all ran a recreation referred to as Hextris — like Tetris, however the tiles had been hexagonal as an alternative of sq.. The sport would show the names and scores of the highest gamers while you opened it, and one of many guys within the lab turned completely obsessive about at all times having the highest rating. He would examine it a number of instances a day, and if anybody beat his rating, he would sit and play — generally for hours at a time — till he was on prime once more.
So one of many different college students hacked the sport, and made it at all times show any person else’s rating on the prime every time this man signed on. It drove him utterly wild, and he wasted a number of days doing nothing however taking part in that silly recreation (as an alternative of, say, learning or writing his thesis) earlier than he lastly caught on.
5. The braggart
In our workplace, many individuals share a love for spicy meals.
Mark (pretend identify in fact) was a type of guys who liked to suppose he did the whole lot higher than different folks. Did you go on trip to Maldives? He went to Mars. Did you buy a brand new laptop computer? His was constructed by Invoice Gates himself, and so forth.
At some point, a potluck was organized to have a good time a coworker transferring to a different nation. This individual adored spicy meals, so a few of us ready it. There was loads of common meals, however to keep away from incidents, the spicy one was labelled appropriately. Now, one of many dishes was a stew with a sauce made with Carolina Reapers. I used to be used to spicy meals, however that one actually burnt my tongue. I liked it!
As soon as Mark noticed a bunch of us consuming that dish, he wished to strive it. We tried to warn him that it was actually spicy, possibly take a small, small chunk to see the way you do.
He grabbed a spoon from the desk, took a beneficiant portion of the stew and proceed to smugly telling us that he was completely in a position to deal with spicy meals. He GULPED the whole bowl whereas we stared in horror (and a bit of enjoyment in my case). Lengthy story brief, an ambulance was referred to as after he collapsed on the ground gagging and writhing in ache.
As soon as he returned, he nonetheless had the gall to assert that it was indigestion and never stupidity that caught him. Somebody left a small jar of Carolina Reaper extract on his desk a few days later since he wouldn’t drop the topic. He threw it within the bin, and by no means commented about it once more.
6. The sweater
Final 12 months we determined to do an office-wide Christmas sweater contest to finish our vacation charity giving marketing campaign. There have been three money prizes for essentially the most festive sweaters. Often, the workplace is fairly laid again about these kind of contests they usually go off with out a lot of a fuss. This one was completely different.
We had a cheerful hour occasion the place folks voted for the sweaters anonymously. Apparently considered one of my coworkers was extraordinarily upset that she didn’t win first place (she got here in second) and she or he spent the whole night insulting the primary place winner. She even requested folks in the event that they wished to redo the vote and if they need to mannequin the sweaters as a result of there’s no manner she ought to have misplaced. I couldn’t consider the opposite individual really agreed to the “modeling” and re-voting; they ended up strutting by way of the bar of their sweaters and doing the vote once more. The complaining coworker misplaced a second time and spent the rest of the night asking us if we favored her as a result of there’s no manner we may have presumably thought the opposite sweater was extra festive than hers.
7. The pumpkin carving contest
Annually, my firm held a pumpkin carving contest. I used to be the organizer one 12 months. Staff would decide the entries in numerous classes. If we had 10 entries, we had been thrilled. It was low-stakes. It was a nonprofit group and there have been no prizes. Entrants had been conscious that they had been competing for the glory of bragging rights. And but…
One supervisor (who was nobody’s favourite) informed her staff that her pumpkin was #6 and to vote for her. And, sure, her pumpkin was on the desk subsequent to the #6 when she dropped it off that morning, however I later wanted to maneuver the pumpkins round earlier than the judging started and she or he was not pumpkin #6. Nicely. By the point she discovered, her staff had already voted and dutifully voted for her as a result of she was their pushy supervisor. Our low-tech on-line polling system didn’t permit for re-dos. She was loudly upset at me; on the unfairness of all of it. She yelled at me that she informed her staff to vote for #6 however that wasn’t her pumpkin! I don’t suppose she realized how dangerous this made her look. We’re speaking about an individual over the age of fifty who was a director of a staff and who stood to achieve nothing from profitable this contest.
I consider that her staff unintentionally voted for a unicorn pumpkin painted by a really good individual in one other division. (See how laid-back this was? We allowed *painted* pumpkins in a Pumpkin Carving Contest.)
8. The face masks
Throughout Covid, my division of my firm (round 150 folks unfold across the nation) began having month-to-month contests and the winner can be introduced throughout our month-to-month staff calls. In October, the competition was “present us your favourite masks” – you realize, Halloween-themed. So, as a joke, I placed on a clay face masks (the sort for skincare) as an alternative of some monster masks and emailed a photograph off to the coordinator with a snarky “does this depend” lol. I hit reply-all unintentionally. And realized it far too late to recollect it. The one balm (uh, apart from the facemask) for my mortification was I tied for the win. Was it out of pity? In all probability. Don’t care – I used that $10 Amazon card like no person’s enterprise!
9. The leg
A company-sponsored speaker got here in proper after we had been ordered to come back again to the workplace to attempt to increase morale or one thing. Not one of the bosses or administrators had been there, having despatched an e-mail that they had been working from house, which actually ticked everybody off. We gave this speaker a reasonably onerous time, ignoring him and speaking amongst ourselves. His displays had been principally about why distant work was by no means going to be the norm and a few stuff that was union-bustingly awkward. He tried to get us up and concerned with, “Okay, who can stand on one foot the longest! Woo! Let’s get that blood pumping!” My coworker, RJ, is an amputee so he popped his leg off and left it standing, sat again down and dug a novel out of his bag and began to learn. RJ is my hero.
10. The Christmas competitors
I used to work for an workplace provides firm that held an annual Christmas adorning competitors. Each division used to go all out. Lights, handmade decorations, bushes and so forth.
One 12 months they realized it was a bit excessive and beginning to price folks, so that they made a rule that solely recycled items might be used. The advertising and marketing division had a surplus of Christmas catalogues that 12 months and spent weeks papering their space. There was a list tree, catalogue snow flakes, catalogue Santa.
It appeared superb they usually received. THE UPROAR. “Did any of our prospects even get a list or did advertising and marketing hoard all of them for the competitors??” The catalogues had been principally misprints, however the hours they’d put into the decorations sort of added up too. How are they “so overworked” however had time for that?
You’d suppose that will shut the comp down, but it surely simply obtained extra aggressive. Bushes made out of previous printer cartridges and reams of paper. Santa’s workshops with elaborate cardboard fittings connected to lights. Advertising and marketing tried to at least one up themselves and designed a full 18-hole Christmas-themed mini golf course across the workplace. One other staff made their employees comply with the judges round caroling.
I not work there but it surely was undoubtedly changing into a hazard. You couldn’t stroll two meters with out tripping over some cardboard golf course or knocking a sequence of snowflake buntings down. Groups would spend weeks making decorations as an alternative of working. Then by new years the recycling and by extension dumpsters can be full of stapled painted and taped up paper decorations and cardboard.
The prize? A fish and chip lunch.
I hope they not go to such lengths now however the period of time cash and assets wasted on a team-building train was loopy.
11. The pumpkins, half 2
We have now a notoriously tough assistant, Ann, who actually has a expertise for locating issues to complain about. One 12 months, we had a pumpkin adorning contest, and the pumpkins had been all donated to an area children charity after. Ann first complained that she doesn’t consider in Halloween and this is able to indoctrinate the youngsters on the charity. She then complained that anybody who has time to embellish a pumpkin should not be doing their job. Lastly, when she noticed the embellished pumpkins, she complained that not sufficient folks had entered (we had like 12), and it was a humiliation to our group that we couldn’t come collectively for the youngsters.
12. The snow
A number of winters in the past, Minnesota acquired a larger-than-usual snowfall. The corporate who plowed the world round our enterprise ran out of room and pushed the snow from the final a number of snowstorms right into a far nook of our car parking zone. This space was shaded, so the snow took ceaselessly to soften. The proprietor of the corporate determined that whoever appropriately guessed the day the snow was lastly melted would obtain a present card.
The depth with which my coworkers decided their guesses was spectacular. They consulted long-range forecasts and the Farmer’s Almanac, carried out easy melting assessments on their espresso breaks; for a time frame, I mulled over updating our mission assertion, as apparently “generate profits” was not it. As soon as all of the guesses had been in, the wait started.
Since my workplace window was the closest to the snow pile, I obtained the enjoyment of individuals trudging out and in of my workplace all day lengthy. Wet days, which sped up the soften, had been everybody’s nemesis. I obtained so bored with the competition, I mentally tabulated the size of extension wire it will take to make use of my hair dryer (in the dark) to soften that sucker and be carried out with it.
Who received? Nobody. The rule was that your guess needed to be the precise day the snow was gone – not a day earlier than or after. Just one coworker was left standing and judging by his guess and the climate forecast, he was quickly to be the glad proprietor of a Walmart reward card. His victory was to not be, nevertheless, since our proprietor’s frugal facet refused to be denied and satisfied him that sneaking out to the little snow pile and heaving espresso cups stuffed with snow onto the garden was a totally cheap factor to do. I’ve watched sufficient mob films to know that “snitches get stitches” and since I used to be the solo witness, my coworkers had been by no means informed of the unhappy, duplicitous finish to our snow pile.
13. The brand new 12 months’s adorning contest
Again in my early profession, I used to be employed in a name heart. Name facilities are infamous for being loads like highschool however with extra drama, and this one was no completely different. You needed to bid on shifts repeatedly, together with your rank based mostly on efficiency, and over time issues had coalesced in order that I used to be on a secure staff with different oddballs — a handful of lifers and individuals who had been utilizing the comparatively excessive wages to assist them by way of faculty. All of us got here in, saved our heads down, and prevented the drama as a lot as doable.
A part of the surroundings was common adorning contests, which my group at all times ignored. We had been all prime performers so the results had been minimal, however higher administration clearly thought we had a nasty angle. So after they introduced that the COO can be flying in to tour the positioning in December 2012, our supervisor was informed that we HAD to take part within the New Yr’s adorning contest. She introduced this to the staff and mentioned she didn’t care design we selected, so long as we did a minimal adorning stage. Within the silence that adopted, one of many college students spoke as much as make clear that she did certainly imply “any design,: and she or he confirmed that she didn’t care.
For these of you’ve got forgotten, in late 2012 there was an entire bizarre New Age apocalypse factor going round, based mostly on the supposed finish of the Mayan calendar. The proposed design was “New Yr apocalypse” and my staff was all of the sudden very captivated with adorning. We constructed an enormous 3D Mayan pyramid that we put over our supervisor’s cubicle, with smaller ones on each desk. We had been lucky sufficient to have a big plate glass window in our space, and we painted a big comet coming in for impression. We mentioned carrying tin foil hats, however determined they didn’t work with the headsets, so as an alternative we put them on prime of our displays. We made a big banner proclaiming, “Welcome to the New Yr… hope you survive the expertise!” which we put up simply earlier than the COO obtained to the ground.
I’ve fond recollections of our web site supervisor explaining that we had been the highest performing staff within the web site to the COO whereas obtrusive at us. Our supervisor remained serene all through, and when the votes for the competition had been counted we got here in second. Curiously sufficient, there have been very particular tips for all additional adorning contests whereas I used to be there, and nobody mentioned one other phrase when my staff continued to disregard them