A reader writes:
I beforehand have requested you a query about whether or not my girlfriend’s CEO was overstepping (#2 on the hyperlink). You very kindly answered my query and I adopted your recommendation and fortunately let it go as I believed the CEO wasn’t overstepping his skilled boundaries. Not less than not till lately once I learn the next interplay between them on a Monday morning at 6 am:
CEO: I’ll see you within the workplace. Not less than I’ve that to stay up for!!!
Girlfriend: See you there!My thoughts may be tainted by my earlier suspicion, however studying the interplay between them I instantly felt that their stage of communication was past what I feel is “skilled company stage” communication. Or am I fully fallacious and see spooks in every single place?
I ought to point out that I’ve no entry to my girlfriend’s work telephone or iPad. Her iPad was on our kitchen counter whereas she was within the lavatory and the CEO’s textual content message popped up on the display, adopted by my girlfriend’s rapid reply. The iPad was locked so it wasn’t a matter of me snooping round, simply to make clear that!
That is extra acquainted than I’d suggest to a supervisor, though it doesn’t essentially imply something inappropriate is occurring. I can see why it gave you pause, nevertheless it’s very removed from indicating he’s truly being inappropriate. It might imply he sees their relationship as extra associates than boss/worker, however that’s a unique factor than what you’re nervous about.
And your girlfriend’s reply was as impartial as you may get when responding to a somewhat-too-familiar boss.
I feel it could assist to hone in on precisely what you’re nervous about. Are you involved that your girlfriend may be dishonest or that her supervisor is simply overly acquainted (and possibly want to make a transfer if given the chance)? If it’s the latter, there’s actually nothing so that you can do right here, aside from to assist your girlfriend (in trusting her personal instincts if she begins to really feel uncomfortable, and in setting and imposing boundaries that she is comfy with) — assuming you belief her. In spite of everything, there’ll all the time be different individuals who would possibly hit on her and you’ll’t wrap her in bubble wrap to stop that from occurring. In the event you belief her, you must belief her to navigate that a part of life appropriately.
Then again, should you’re nervous that she’s dishonest on you, or would cheat if given the chance, that’s a difficulty unbiased of no matter is or isn’t occurring along with her boss. The excellent news about that may be that you just wouldn’t really want to “remedy” this if that’s the case; should you don’t belief her, issues are damaged regardless.
Or is it extra of a center floor, the place you’re nervous the boss is inappropriate and he or she’s not going to see it till she’s all of the sudden in a foul state of affairs? If that’s the case, the suitable transfer is to ask her how she feels about their dynamics, and actually hearken to what she says. Finally that is hers to navigate and you must respect her company in that, however should you’re nervous there’s one thing she’s not seeing, you’ll be able to definitely open that dialog and each hear one another out. (However like I stated in my authentic response, you’ll be able to’t deliver it up again and again; you elevate it, you pay attention to one another, and also you every determine what you’re comfy with from there.)