A reader writes:
I beforehand have requested you a query about whether or not my girlfriend’s CEO was overstepping (#2 on the hyperlink). You very kindly answered my query and I adopted your recommendation and fortunately let it go as I believed the CEO wasn’t overstepping his skilled boundaries. At the least not till lately after I learn the next interplay between them on a Monday morning at 6 am:
CEO: I’ll see you within the workplace. At the least I’ve that to sit up for!!!
Girlfriend: See you there!My thoughts could be tainted by my earlier suspicion, however studying the interplay between them I instantly felt that their stage of communication was past what I believe is “skilled company stage” communication. Or am I utterly mistaken and see spooks all over the place?
I ought to point out that I’ve no entry to my girlfriend’s work telephone or iPad. Her iPad was on our kitchen counter whereas she was within the lavatory and the CEO’s textual content message popped up on the display screen, adopted by my girlfriend’s fast reply. The iPad was locked so it wasn’t a matter of me snooping round, simply to make clear that!
That is extra acquainted than I’d suggest to a supervisor, though it doesn’t essentially imply something inappropriate is going on. I can see why it gave you pause, however it’s very removed from indicating he’s really being inappropriate. It might imply he sees their relationship as extra associates than boss/worker, however that’s a special factor than what you’re apprehensive about.
And your girlfriend’s reply was as impartial as you may get when responding to a somewhat-too-familiar boss.
I believe it could assist to hone in on precisely what you’re apprehensive about. Are you involved that your girlfriend could be dishonest or that her supervisor is simply overly acquainted (and perhaps wish to make a transfer if given the chance)? If it’s the latter, there’s actually nothing so that you can do right here, apart from to assist your girlfriend (in trusting her personal instincts if she begins to really feel uncomfortable, and in setting and imposing boundaries that she is snug with) — assuming you belief her. In spite of everything, there’ll at all times be different individuals who may hit on her and you may’t wrap her in bubble wrap to forestall that from occurring. In the event you belief her, you need to belief her to navigate that a part of life appropriately.
Then again, in case you’re apprehensive that she’s dishonest on you, or would cheat if given the chance, that’s a difficulty impartial of no matter is or isn’t occurring along with her boss. The excellent news about that will be that you simply wouldn’t really want to “remedy” this if that’s the case; in case you don’t belief her, issues are damaged regardless.
Or is it extra of a center floor, the place you’re apprehensive the boss is inappropriate and he or she’s not going to see it till she’s all of a sudden in a foul state of affairs? If that’s the case, the precise transfer is to ask her how she feels about their dynamics, and actually take heed to what she says. In the end that is hers to navigate and you need to respect her company in that, however in case you’re apprehensive there’s one thing she’s not seeing, you possibly can definitely open that dialog and each hear one another out. (However like I mentioned in my authentic response, you possibly can’t convey it up time and again; you increase it, you hear to one another, and also you every determine what you’re snug with from there.)