It’s “the place are you now?” month at Ask a Supervisor, and all December I’m operating updates from individuals who had their letters right here answered previously.
There will likely be extra posts than normal this week, so preserve checking again all through the day.
Keep in mind the letter-writer who, as the one homosexual man in his division, was requested to take down a photograph of his child? Right here’s the replace.
Shortly after I wrote to you, I talked to HR and requested if there have been any guidelines relating to desk decor and pictures displayed. There weren’t, they usually suggested me to speak to my supervisor. I used to be more and more upset by the matter, and had a number of sleepless nights. So, I did ask my supervisor for a follow-up 1:1 to let her know that I complied and took down the picture, to ask if particular alternative pictures have been “acceptable,” and to convey my emotions of being focused.
She was extra nervous than I used to be on the assembly, however her response was largely thatshe was required to deal with the matter if somebody felt uncomfortable. I requested her if she requested the individual what particularly was bothering them concerning the picture, and he or she stated that she didn’t. I instructed her that I’ve encountered prejudice earlier than as a homosexual guardian and that this felt comparable. She inspired me to place up some other pictures so long as there was no nudity. I requested how nudity was being outlined, since you couldn’t see any butt or genitalia within the picture. I requested if a photograph I had of him in a bubble bathtub was okay, {that a} nipple may be seen. That the bathtub blocked him from the waist down so so far as anybody is aware of he could also be sporting a swimsuit. She stated that was high quality. What if i saved the identical picture up however positioned a “CENSORED” notice over any elements that may indicate nudity? She stated that may be high quality.
I stated, “Isn’t it a bit ridiculous to attempt to parse out what another person could also be discovering objectionable?”d I stated that I used to be disturbed that this individual wasn’t questioned, that their discomfort was catered to, however nobody appeared equally involved how I would really feel to be requested to censor a photograph of my son.
I documented the dialogue and had plans to place up a number of (non-nude) pictures of my son in response. I fantasized about retaining the picture up however inserting a notice over a part of it that learn “I really feel sorry for small-minded folks” however finally my coronary heart wasn’t in it. I didn’t need any extra controversy.
Phrase unfold amongst coworkers about my scenario and everybody was very supportive of me. A number of put comparable “nude however no genitalia” pictures of their very own children, or an Anne Geddes picture, as their pc monitor’s wallpaper. Nobody seen or complained about that.
For a few month I felt unhappy, and indignant, and paranoid, however ultimately I let it go. I by no means did discover out who complained. Regardless of all of that, I’ve continued to develop and thrive in my place on the firm, and “exceeded expectations” at my final assessment.
Thanks for answering my preliminary question and for asking for an replace on my scenario. I had by no means seen the feedback to my scenario in your website prior to now. It was fascinating to see the numerous factors of view, and I felt validated to see that the majority felt that there was most likely some homophobia and prejudice at play, or on the very least it was badly dealt with.