A reader writes:
I’ve a particularly low-stakes query: Is there a option to say “did you obtain my present?” that doesn’t come off as aggressively asking to be thanked however as a substitute expresses what I actually need to know, which is, “FedEx/and so on stated it was delivered however was it actually? Or do I would like to research?”
My office has a really versatile work-from-home coverage so I don’t essentially see the small group I handle in individual on a predictable schedule. This was difficult this yr by me catching a chilly and dealing from house the entire final week earlier than our two-week winter break.
I despatched the identical sort of present I ship yearly (usually very enthusiastically obtained). I received emails from the seller that they had been delivered, and just one individual texted to say she obtained it. I waited two days after which despatched texts to the three others to make certain the items arrived. Everybody responded that they’d and “thanks” and “sorry, I used to be ready to thanks in individual (which might have been in over two weeks at that time). Then I felt like I’d been pushy. I truthfully simply wished to know if I wanted to research a difficulty!
This has occurred in my private life as nicely. Proper now it has been over a yr since attending my good friend’s wedding ceremony and I haven’t obtained a thank-you notice for the present I despatched. I’m questioning he thinks I’m low cost or unmannered and simply opted out of gifting. I don’t need to ask as a result of a number of years in the past I did ask a good friend a few present greater than a yr after his wedding ceremony and I obtained a unexpectedly written thank-you notice the following week. I don’t want thanks! I simply have to know you bought it!
I used to be in a position to resolve this with my hassle re: items for my niblings simply sufficient; I stated that it was necessary to me to get a “hey, received the package deal” textual content, even when it’s not necessary to him to ship one. However I can’t say that to my group members or when it’s a one-off present. Am I the one one who worries about this and I simply have to tamp down my nervousness? Begin gifting in individual?
You aren’t the one one who worries about this, and you might be proper that it’s arduous to navigate with out coming throughout as in the event you’re fishing for a thank-you.
The simplest option to keep away from it’s certainly to provide the present in individual, however that’s not at all times doable or sensible.
The following best strategy is to ship a notice near the time you anticipate the present to reach, saying one thing like, “I despatched you one thing small within the mail — it ought to arrive this week.” That method, they’ll know to let you realize if nothing arrives. If you need, you’ll be able to even add, “I’m at all times nervous in regards to the mail presently of yr so please let me know if it doesn’t arrive.” However after that, you don’t have to comply with up; you’ve alerted them that it’s coming, and so the half you’re frightened about is taken care of.
In fact, it’s nonetheless doable that they won’t provide you with a warning if the present doesn’t arrive — as a result of they’re forgetful or they really feel awkward about telling you they didn’t obtain something — however you’ll have taken affordable steps and don’t actually need to cowl each doable base. The exception could be if the present is one thing so invaluable that it warrants extra follow-up — however I’m guessing you’re not sending group members diamond jewellery or something like that.
Alternately, it’s not that massive of a deal if you wish to simply say, “Hey, did you get the package deal I despatched you?” However because you’re searching for alternate options, these are some.