replace: can I convey a friend-with-benefits again to my lodge on a piece journey?
It’s “the place are you now?” month at Ask a Supervisor, and all December I’m operating updates from individuals who had their letters right here answered up to now.
There might be extra posts than traditional this week, so hold checking again all through the day.
Keep in mind the letter-writer questioning whether or not she might convey a friend-with-benefits again to her lodge on a piece journey? Right here’s the replace.
My pal and I did join throughout the first evening of the convention. The remainder of my workforce unpacked and went to an unofficial blissful hour, and I instructed them I used to be grabbing dinner with a pal (with full help/approval from my supervisor). She and I ate, went again to the lodge (the place all my coworkers besides me have been in adjoining rooms, by some miracle), after which she left round 10 pm. I acquired a full evening’s sleep and was targeted for the remainder of the convention! I spent all the next evenings both wandering across the metropolis alone or having dinner with coworkers.
I discussed this in a touch upon my preliminary letter, however I’ll say it once more: My pal and I are lesbians, which can have been an vital little bit of context for individuals fearful about discretion/believable deniability. For higher or for worse, I believe that when most individuals see two comparatively femme girls getting dinner and heading to hang around privately, they’re extra more likely to assume platonic intentions than, for example, in the event that they noticed a person and a lady doing the identical. I’m out at work, however heteronormativity is robust and I doubt that any of my colleagues would’ve batted an eye fixed if we had run into them.
Due to Alison and all of the commenters who gave me recommendations on office norms round night obligations at conferences. This one didn’t have a lot happening after 5 pm, even unofficially, however realizing that there could possibly be night occasions helped me set my expectations higher for the time I used to be there.