A reader writes:
I’ve three individuals who I’ve supervised for the final three years. Though I’m not their official supervisor, I’m the one who handles the majority of their day-to-day obligations. I’ll name them Cordelia, Willow, and Daybreak. All three are laborious staff and are good at their jobs. They’re additionally buddies and the three of them typically take pleasure in consuming lunch collectively at certainly one of their desks most days.
Cordelia has at all times been sort of an enormous character. She goes above and past at work but in addition in her private life, and is busy each single weekend and most evenings. She is a kind of individuals who simply at all times appears to have a great deal of power and opinions. I like her, but in addition discover her somewhat bit exhausting.
About 10 years in the past (earlier than I labored right here), Cordelia had a child who tragically handed away earlier than his first birthday. His demise was a couple of week after he had acquired a number of of the standard six-month toddler vaccines. Cordelia has blamed his demise on the vaccines and is an anti-vaxxer.
She has talked about that she was relieved that our firm determined to not require Covid-19 vaccines or boosters, as a result of she would have needed to give up as a result of she completely is not going to get any vaccines.
I don’t agree together with her stance, however I’m additionally not going to argue with a coworker about medical stuff that isn’t a core a part of our jobs, and much more, I’m not snug being overly confrontational with a grieving mother or father. She understandably nonetheless grows upset and cries when one thing reminds her of her child.
Every fall, my firm arranges for flu pictures to be out there on website for one afternoon for workers.
My first yr right here, I overheard Cordelia telling Willow to not get the flu shot. Willow tends to smile and nod, after which ignore Cordelia and do no matter she was planning on doing, so no precise hurt was accomplished. Nonetheless, I did converse to Cordelia about it and clarify that she was actually welcome to make her personal healthcare choices and never get a flu shot, however that different individuals had been allowed to, and she or he couldn’t discourage them forward of time or criticize them afterwards.
I did maintain an in depth watch on her on the time, and once more final fall when flu pictures had been supplied once more, and there was no recurrence. I additionally checked in with Willow, who simply laughed and stated she obtained the shot yearly. This felt prefer it was handled.
Then Daybreak shared that she is pregnant. It’s her first, and she or he and her husband are thrilled. It’s all actually pretty and thrilling.
Besides…
You’ve nearly actually labored out the place that is going. Cordelia has been telling Daybreak that she must not give her child any vaccinations, even when she must struggle together with her physician about it.
What’s my accountability right here?
Daybreak is an grownup, although a younger one, and she or he has household and a health care provider to assist advise her. However, she appears to be listening to Cordelia on this matter. Do I converse to Cordelia once more, like I did with the corporate supplied flu pictures? (This feels totally different.) Do I keep out of it? Do I step in? Most of those conversations are occurring exterior of labor; I simply occurred to be there throughout a lunchtime chat the place it was clear that this was an ongoing matter.
I’m unsure what to do. Please advise!
Sure, step in. Simply as you had the standing to inform Cordelia to put off concerning the flu pictures, you even have the standing to inform her to not trouble coworkers about different private well being care choices.
It will be one factor if this had simply been one dialog — if the subject got here up and Cordelia shared her opinion after which it was dropped. Nevertheless it sounds prefer it’s been a number of conversations, and that’s crossing a line.
I think you’re feeling extra hesitant as a result of Cordelia had a horrible private loss that she attributes to those particular vaccines. And once more, one point out of “I wouldn’t vaccinate as a result of …” wouldn’t be one thing you wanted to intervene on. And if Daybreak had been in search of her out and asking for her opinion, that might be totally different. But when Cordelia is continuous to push it of her personal volition, she’s within the incorrect. Members of your staff deserve to have the ability to go to work with out being hassled about non-public medical choices they make for themselves and their households.
I’d say the identical if the function had been reversed — if Daybreak weren’t planning to vaccinate and Cordelia stored pressuring her to, sooner or later that might cross a office line too. And simply as Cordelia presumably desires colleagues to respect her medical autonomy, she must respect theirs.
Shut it down.