Sunday, December 22, 2024

I don’t need to be pied within the face for work, and extra — Ask a Supervisor

It’s “the place are you now?” month at Ask a Supervisor, and all December I’m working updates from individuals who had their letters right here answered up to now. Listed here are 4 updates from previous letter-writers.

1. I don’t need to be pied within the face for work

Thanks once more for the response to my letter and state of affairs. It was very nice to see that I wasn’t unhinged for considering it wasn’t acceptable to be pied within the face, and also you had some superb recommendation relating to not needing to be a high performer to be exempt from humiliating work affairs. It’s one thing I will surely imagine for others, however not for me—so I wanted the truth test that I might rely myself within the “nobody needs to be pied within the face in the event that they don’t need to!” class. The commenters had been additionally fairly sort and I really did recognize the solidarity from most folk.

My replace isn’t very thrilling past excellent news, which is I’ve moved on from this office earlier than something got here of the pies. This was simply the tip of the whipped cream iceberg of a foundational mismatch between me and different managers on the earlier place. I’m a lot happier now that interactions like that one are usually not my every day norm.

I’m unsure if the pies are nonetheless occurring, however we are able to solely hope that whether it is, it’s opt-in, not opt-out. I opted out extra completely. 🙂

Cheers for the recommendation and good purpose!

2. My coworker made a creepy go at me (#2 on the hyperlink; first replace right here)

I’m a non secular reader of AAM and love replace season. I believed you all would possibly take pleasure in one other replace on my state of affairs with Mac. I can’t imagine it’s been over a yr!

Mac by no means mentioned something sexualizing or out of line to me once more. We by no means received again to the form of straightforward work friendship we had beforehand, however issues had been cordial and whereas not essentially heat they weren’t chilly both.

Sadly one thing finally got here out that possible cements his feedback as much less harmless than he portrayed them in his apology: he was having an affair and his spouse is divorcing him. He’s moved out of the neighborhood and not works right here, which I’m grateful for. This new growth undoubtedly made it more durable to imagine he didn’t know precisely what he was doing along with his feedback.

Thanks once more for opening my eyes final yr and to all of the commenters that helped me discover my gumption. I nonetheless can’t imagine I pulled that line with a straight face, and it nonetheless feels superb that I did. And thanks for all of the knowledge and leisure over time! Can’t wait to maintain studying extra.

3. Are these interview pink flags? (#3 on the hyperlink)

Thanks, Alison and the commenters, for giving me a intestine test. Shockingly, the day after I wrote to you, I heard from HR that they had been continuing with placing collectively a suggestion for me, and requested for my references. HR advised my references that they had been giving me a suggestion, and let me know that every one the opinions of me had been glowing and the staff was actually enthusiastic about bringing me on.

After you posted my letter, I used to be enthusiastic about withdrawing my candidacy, however determined that having the data on what compensation they’d provide me for the position was price having, so I deliberate to hold in there till that time, once I might decline. Nicely, the joke was on me. For an additional six weeks I stored being advised that the provide was forthcoming, delayed for varied approvals (it was with management, with the brand new CEO, with the guardian firm). Lastly I referred to as HR after two weeks of radio silence and requested for an replace. At that time they advised me that they may not in reality be giving me a suggestion in any case, as a result of the hiring supervisor had recognized another person they had been now all for and wished to interview. I thanked them for his or her time and the next Monday withdrew from consideration. Your complete course of took 4 months, and I by no means as soon as heard from the hiring supervisor or the staff, all the things was run via HR (one more large pink flag).

The method was eye opening in its personal proper and a extremely nice reminder that if an organization treats you badly and is a whole mess through the hiring course of, it might probably solely go downhill from there. Thanks to the AAM group such nice perspective!

4. Speaking with a staff that doesn’t learn electronic mail (#2 on the hyperlink)

As a few of the commenters appropriately guessed, administration wasn’t match for me. I made a lateral transfer to a non-management position on the identical group. I’m making the identical sum of money (nonetheless, uh, not so much) however I’m MUCH happier in my new position and I’ve every kind of concepts for tips on how to enhance my little nook of this place!

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