It’s “the place are you now?” month at Ask a Supervisor, and all December I’m operating updates from individuals who had their letters right here answered prior to now. Listed below are 4 updates from previous letter-writers.
1. I don’t need to be pied within the face for work
Thanks once more for the response to my letter and state of affairs. It was very nice to see that I wasn’t unhinged for considering it wasn’t acceptable to be pied within the face, and also you had some superb recommendation concerning not needing to be a prime performer to be exempt from humiliating work affairs. It’s one thing I will surely consider for others, however not for me—so I wanted the fact verify that I may depend myself within the “nobody needs to be pied within the face in the event that they don’t need to!” class. The commenters had been additionally fairly sort and I actually did admire the solidarity from most people.
My replace isn’t very thrilling past excellent news, which is I’ve moved on from this office earlier than something got here of the pies. This was simply the tip of the whipped cream iceberg of a foundational mismatch between me and different managers on the earlier place. I’m a lot happier now that interactions like that one are usually not my each day norm.
I’m undecided if the pies are nonetheless occurring, however we will solely hope that whether it is, it’s opt-in, not opt-out. I opted out extra completely. 🙂
Cheers for the recommendation and good intention!
2. My coworker made a creepy cross at me (#2 on the hyperlink; first replace right here)
I’m a spiritual reader of AAM and love replace season. I assumed you all may get pleasure from one other replace on my state of affairs with Mac. I can’t consider it’s been over a 12 months!
Mac by no means stated something sexualizing or out of line to me once more. We by no means bought again to the form of simple work friendship we had beforehand, however issues had been cordial and whereas not essentially heat they weren’t chilly both.
Sadly one thing finally got here out that possible cements his feedback as much less harmless than he portrayed them in his apology: he was having an affair and his spouse is divorcing him. He’s moved out of the neighborhood and now not works right here, which I’m grateful for. This new improvement positively made it tougher to imagine he didn’t know precisely what he was doing together with his feedback.
Thanks once more for opening my eyes final 12 months and to all of the commenters that helped me discover my gumption. I nonetheless can’t consider I pulled that line with a straight face, and it nonetheless feels wonderful that I did. And thanks for all of the knowledge and leisure over time! Can’t wait to maintain studying extra.
3. Are these interview pink flags? (#3 on the hyperlink)
Thanks, Alison and the commenters, for giving me a intestine verify. Shockingly, the day after I wrote to you, I heard from HR that they had been continuing with placing collectively a suggestion for me, and requested for my references. HR informed my references that they had been giving me a suggestion, and let me know that each one the evaluations of me had been glowing and the group was actually enthusiastic about bringing me on.
After you posted my letter, I used to be fascinated with withdrawing my candidacy, however determined that having the data on what compensation they’d supply me for the function was price having, so I deliberate to hold in there till that time, once I may decline. Effectively, the joke was on me. For an additional six weeks I stored being informed that the supply was forthcoming, delayed for numerous approvals (it was with management, with the brand new CEO, with the mum or dad firm). Lastly I referred to as HR after two weeks of radio silence and requested for an replace. At that time they informed me that they may not in truth be giving me a suggestion in spite of everything, as a result of the hiring supervisor had recognized another person they had been now all for and wished to interview. I thanked them for his or her time and the next Monday withdrew from consideration. All the course of took 4 months, and I by no means as soon as heard from the hiring supervisor or the group, every little thing was run via HR (one more big pink flag).
The method was eye opening in its personal proper and a extremely nice reminder that if an organization treats you badly and is an entire mess throughout the hiring course of, it could possibly solely go downhill from there. Thanks to the AAM neighborhood such nice perspective!
4. Speaking with a group that doesn’t learn electronic mail (#2 on the hyperlink)
As a few of the commenters accurately guessed, administration wasn’t a great match for me. I made a lateral transfer to a non-management function on the identical group. I’m making the identical sum of money (nonetheless, uh, not rather a lot) however I’m MUCH happier in my new function and I’ve all types of concepts for easy methods to enhance my little nook of this place!