It’s 4 solutions to 4 questions. Right here we go…
1. My neighbor, her nephew, my child, and her canines
My query has to do with child work. I lately discovered myself in an uncomfortable scenario with my middle-schooler, Falcon, and I’m questioning if I dealt with it badly. My neighbor, Jane, requested Falcon to test on her canines and take them for a stroll whereas she attended an occasion. She provided $15/hour, and since Falcon loves canines, he agreed. The request was for him to spend two to 3 hours strolling and enjoying with the canines, beginning between 5 and 6 pm.
On the afternoon of the occasion, Jane texted, asking if Falcon may as a substitute keep at her home till she returned round 11 pm. She additionally talked about that her grownup nephew, Hank, could be on the home with Falcon. This variation was … sudden. We solely noticed the textual content after returning house from Falcon’s soccer sport, by which period Jane had already left for the occasion. Neither of us had ever met Hank earlier than, and all we knew about him was that he had studying disabilities.
Falcon was uncomfortable with the thought of spending a number of hours in a home with an grownup stranger. However, since Jane had already left, we felt obligated to satisfy her request. I accompanied Falcon to the home at 6 pm. We walked the canines, performed with them within the yard, and greeted Hank, who was sitting in the dead of night and ignored us. Falcon was afraid of him. We performed outdoors with the canines for a few hours till it grew to become too darkish and mosquito-y to moderately stay outdoor. We then introduced the canines inside and waited collectively within the entrance room with them till Jane returned, as neither of us was comfy leaving Falcon alone with Hank.
When Jane acquired house, she seen canine poop within the kitchen, which we hadn’t seen as a result of Falcon was too scared to go in there (it was connected to the room the place Hank was hanging out in the dead of night). It appeared that Hank and/or the canines had stepped within the poop and gotten it far and wide. Our greatest guess is that the pooping occurred earlier than we arrived, as we have been with the canines pretty persistently from 6 pm till Jane’s return. Jane handed Falcon $75 as cost, however I texted her the subsequent morning, providing to return the cash since we hadn’t prevented the canines from soiling the home. Jane requested us to return $50, which we did.
I really feel horrible about the entire scenario. I don’t suppose Jane ought to have put my son within the place of being alone for hours with a person he didn’t know. Falcon feels responsible for not doing a greater job with the canines. I’m questioning how may I’ve dealt with this higher. Past letting the canines out earlier, after all. I really feel like I’ve each traumatized my youngster and let down my neighbor.
That is 100% on Jane. Falcon agreed to a particular job: enjoying with the canines for a few hours, on his personal, ending no later than 9 pm. Jane unilaterally modified that to “keep at my home for six hours with an grownup man you don’t know.” Even when Hank had been friendlier/much less intimidating, this wasn’t an okay factor to ask of a middle-schooler, significantly with out checking to see if he’d be comfy with it and probably speaking with you as nicely. (Frankly, even when Falcon have been comfy, I don’t suppose it could have been an acceptable ask. If Hank isn’t able to caring for the canine himself, and is somebody who would possibly smear canine poop all around the home with out cleansing it up, an unprepared middle-schooler isn’t the fitting particular person to be alone with him.)
If we may return in time, ideally you’d have coached Falcon to inform Jane that he couldn’t keep later than the time he agreed to (and even informed her that your self). You say you felt obligated to satisfy Jane’s request, however you weren’t obligated; the request wasn’t the one Falcon had agreed to. I don’t suppose you wanted to supply to return the cash though I can perceive the impulse, given the poop scenario. However Jane ought to have refused that supply and will have apologized for a way issues unfolded.
2. I submitted a break day request 3 months in the past … and am nonetheless ready
I work at a small firm, about 50 workers. Final 12 months, the proprietor turned over day-to-day operations to a VP who has been with the corporate for the previous 10 years. I report back to the VP and am one in every of 4 individuals with the corporate in a managerial place.
Over three months in the past, I submitted a go away request for the week of Christmas. I’ve been on this trade for over 20 years and that week is traditionally the slowest week of the 12 months. I often don’t take off that week in order that my workers is ready to journey to see household (my household is small and native). Final 12 months, my brother-in-law died on Christmas and my husband doesn’t need to be house because of the unhealthy recollections from final 12 months. As a result of it’s Christmas, I submitted my request early to verify it was well timed and earlier than another requests have been submitted.
The VP has not decided on my go away request and suggested me he’s nonetheless “occupied with it.” I’m very pissed off. I really feel disrespected and unappreciated. I solely earn two weeks of go away per 12 months, which isn’t a lot and infrequently causes points as my husband has significantly extra go away and we’re unable to journey attributable to my lack of go away. Additionally it is use or lose, so if I don’t use my time by the top of the 12 months, I’ll lose it. I really feel like my trip time is being held hostage. By no means thoughts that I’ve to pay for the AirBNB and flight and my husband has to request go away as nicely for that week. All the things is in limbo over this and the prices are rising every day. The distinction in the price of the flights between early June and September is sort of $1000. I’m so indignant and upset.
I’m prepared to stop over this. My problem is that I don’t suppose the proprietor is conscious of the problems with the VP, and I’m unsure the best way to convey it up as he has acknowledged a number of occasions that he has full religion within the VP and trusts him 100%. I don’t suppose it’s acceptable to withhold PTO approval (or denial) for over three months, all whereas the price of my trip plans are actually rising and I won’t be able to make use of the go away earlier than the top of the 12 months if this trip request is just not authorized. Any steerage could be enormously appreciated in the best way to tackle with each the proprietor and VP.
Discuss to the VP first! Say what you’ve mentioned right here — the prices are rising with every day that you simply wait, the break day is use-or-or-lose it, and also you want to have the ability to plan. Ask what he wants to provide you a particular reply by subsequent week.
If he doesn’t do this (or if he denies the request), discuss to the proprietor. “Having full religion in” the VP and “trusting him 100%” doesn’t usually imply “I imagine he won’t ever miss something / may by no means profit from assist altering his perspective.” And also you’re a high-level worker who’s been there for a decade; the proprietor most likely would need to know that you simply’re on the verge of quitting over one thing so simply solvable.
All that mentioned … two weeks of trip time is very stingy for a administration degree place, and much more so after 10 years. I’d additionally discover it grating to be in a high-level administration function however nonetheless be required to get approval for a meager period of time off throughout a gradual interval. Nobody ought to want to attend this lengthy to have PTO authorized, however sometimes PTO approval for managers at your degree is way nearer to a rubber-stamp; making you wait months for no discernible cause is ridiculous. Is that this the one factor the place your organization is stingy and overly inflexible? I’d be inclined to reassess how nicely this place treats you (in cash, in advantages, and in respect) and examine it to different choices that is likely to be on the market.
3. What do I do when my firm firewall blocks a web site?
From time to time I’ll open a safe-for-work hyperlink however it is going to be blocked for varied causes. Typically it’s as a result of it’s a “advocacy web site” (which, my job is in advocacy, so I don’t completely get) however generally it’s for pornography. That is completely mortifying! (And I have to stress, there’s no cause to imagine these hyperlinks are literally NSFW!) What ought to I do when this occurs? I often do nothing, however I’m very embarrassed on the thought of our IT group getting an alert that I attempted to entry porn at work. Do I must e-mail them about it and clear the air?
Nah. They’re most likely nicely conscious that the software program misfires, and also you’re undoubtedly not the one particular person it’s occurring to. Nonetheless, it could be high quality to message them, “FYI, OatmealAlliance.com is being blocked as ‘pornography,’ which it clearly isn’t.” That means you’re informing them about an issue (their blocking device wants refinement) and if it occurs to convey you peace of thoughts within the course of, a lot the higher.
If these are websites you might want to do your job, it is best to add, “Are you able to please unblock it? I would like it for a undertaking I”m engaged on” (or comparable).
4. Greeting individuals you’re unsure you’ve met earlier than or not
Low stakes query, however do you’ve a favourite strategy to acknowledge individuals who you’re launched to and aren’t certain in the event you’ve met earlier than? Or you understand you’ve, however they don’t keep in mind and also you don’t need to put them on the spot?
I’m often within the latter class, however could also be transferring into the previous. The default appears to be “good to see you,” to cowl all bases, however truthfully I hate it. Curious in case you have something higher?
“Good to see you” is a basic amongst politicians and others who do a lot of glad-handing for a cause: it covers you in case you’re forgetting that you simply’ve met the particular person beforehand. You can go together with “howdy, how are you?” however there aren’t many different choices for this particular context.