00:00:00: Introduction
00:01:51: Concept for motion 1: face and house
00:03:55: Concept for motion 2: rehearse your begin
00:05:37: Helpful assets
00:06:43: Closing ideas
Sarah Ellis: So, we’re on ability quantity 7 and at this time we’re speaking about presence. And we debated whether or not we even embrace this one, as a result of I believe it might really feel very irritating to get suggestions that feels like, “It might be useful when you elevated your presence with senior stakeholders or senior individuals throughout the corporate”. And also you type of assume, how and what does that seem like? Or Helen and I had been saying that generally, somebody will get pointed to as, “That individual has sensible presence”, otherwise you perhaps even discover or recognise, “Properly, that individual has nice presence”, and then you definitely assume, “And I am nothing like that”.
Helen Tupper: Yeah.
Sarah Ellis: I labored for a boss who did have and does have sensible presence. Folks had been engaged by her, they listened to her, she introduced individuals with them. However I used to be like, “Oh, my persona is dramatically completely different to her, however I can see how what she does works”. As a result of, when individuals do have presence, I believe individuals need to comply with you. I believe they need to be a part of what you are doing, your concepts have extra affect. And so, I do imagine it makes a distinction, however I believe it might usually begin from this level of being like, “Oh, however this isn’t me”. Typically, I believe we might be fairly fastened about our personal skills round presence.
Helen Tupper: Yeah, and I believe generally it is this concept that you want to have presence on a regular basis, like each minute your day begins, you are like, “Hello, I am Helen, I’ve acquired presence each minute”. However I really assume what’s extra essential is to consider, when is me having presence really going to make a distinction? In what conferences and moments is my presence most essential? And that is the place to place the trouble and the concepts we’ll speak about, that is the place to place that motion in; not be like, “I am an individual with perpetual presence”. That is not the intention.
Sarah Ellis: So, what’s your concept for motion for this presence concept?
Helen Tupper: I do not know when you’ll love this one.
Sarah Ellis: Go on.
Helen Tupper: My concept of motion, the factor that I usually take into consideration with presence, is face and house. Now, I am unable to change that a lot about my face, it sort of is what it’s, however I can smile. And I usually discover, in conditions the place I need to have presence, presence is private. However for me, a variety of my presence is available in my vitality. That is what I’d carry to the room or on the finish of a gathering, on the finish of a day, or no matter, I carry that vitality. It is a large a part of my private presence. And I believe a variety of that’s in my smile.
It’s kind of in my tone and my tempo, however a variety of it’s within the smile on my face. And so, it makes an enormous distinction. If I smile, you usually, just like the analysis proves, it is a bit like yawning, you are extra more likely to get a smile again. So, it creates a little bit of connection. it all the time offers me an excellent begin, I get that sort of suggestions from somebody that makes me really feel a bit extra assured. So, face, attempt smiling. It sounds random, however simply attempt smiling. The second factor on house is, if you wish to have presence, take into consideration your bodily presence in an area.
So, for instance, if I am doing a digital presentation, I am on Groups or Zoom or no matter, I’ll take into consideration, what does my bodily presence seem like when it comes to the house that I am filling? So, am I centre? I do know this sounds actually geeky and boring, but when it is a type of moments that issues, I’ll be sure that I am within the centre of the display, I will ensure it’s effectively lit. Or, these very sensible issues are taking my presence away. If there’s one thing distracting, like Sarah gave me suggestions on my background the opposite day, she mentioned, “Oh, the angle of your digital camera is a bit distracting, as a result of you may see that door and it is making me assume —
Sarah Ellis: I used to be wanting exterior!
Helen Tupper: — what’s via that door? I do not need you to consider the door, I need you to be listening to what I’ve acquired to say, I need to have presence on this second. In all probability not with Sarah, however she’s given me suggestions extra for different —
Sarah Ellis: Hey!
Helen Tupper: I am joking — extra for different individuals. However I believe, to that time of generally you may’t all the time see it, as a result of we so usually function on autopilot, I believe getting some suggestions in your bodily presence like, “How do I come throughout on digital camera? Is there something that may make my presence even higher if subsequent time I am in that state of affairs?” Typically different individuals can see what you won’t have the ability to for your self, so it is helpful to get a little bit of suggestions on it. So, face and house.
Sarah Ellis: My tip is to rehearse your begin. So, once you need to have presence, I believe on the similar time you might be usually nervous or a bit anxious.
Sarah Ellis: Agreed.
Sarah Ellis: Otherwise you’re beneath a little bit of stress. I really feel like stress and presence sort of go hand in hand, and you might be that final individual on the agenda, otherwise you’ve acquired lots of people that perhaps you do not know, or perhaps it is only a excessive stress second, and also you maybe do really feel fairly confused. And I believe when you begin effectively, it units you up for fulfillment. After I say practise your begin, I imply rehearse it out loud. So, if I’m doing one thing the place I really feel prefer it’s a type of moments that matter, I’ll practise the primary two or three sentences, “How am I going to get into this subject? How am I going to start out confidently and calmly and on the tempo that I need to talk?” after which I am often okay.
You began effectively, then I do know roughly what I will say. Usually individuals can even say ending effectively is essential, however I discover the second the place I am most probably to get wobbly, that you simply would possibly even hear it in my voice, or get distracted by one thing presence-wise as a result of, I do not know, I do begin twiddling my rings or no matter, it is the beginning. And so, actually simply specializing in that first 90 seconds. There’s additionally numerous proof round individuals make snap judgments, sadly, which maybe we should always attempt to not do, but when in 90 seconds individuals really feel reassured or energised by your presence, otherwise you’ve sort of drawn individuals in, they usually’re like, “Oh, that is good, I will take pleasure in this, I will take heed to what she’s acquired to say”, then you definitely’ve captured individuals’s consideration. So, I believe you simply do not need to miss the second in an essential second. So, I nonetheless do this now, I nonetheless practise now how I will begin.
Helen Tupper: And we predict that it is a actually good twin episode with the one on presenting, as a result of fairly often just like the presenting and presence, similar to the stress level, they sort of go hand in hand. So, that was one of many ones we did earlier within the dash.
Sarah Ellis: So, if you wish to watch individuals with presence, I’d encourage you to observe some TED Talks. Now which may sound counterintuitive since you assume, “Sure, however for TED Talks, they’ve rehearsed 200 plus occasions”. That’s all true, so you need to keep in mind that. However when you watch the TED Talks with probably the most views, like the highest 10 TED Talks, a variety of these had been from the early days of TED, they usually aren’t shiny, they usually aren’t excellent, however these individuals all have presence.
You’ve got acquired Simon Sinek with a flip chart, old fashioned flip chart; you’ve got acquired Brené Brown, who shares that she turned as much as do her TED Speak, and I believe she was late, she’d rushed, she’d written a few of it on a flight. And so, these individuals all have presence, they’re additionally, very completely different. So, it is not like there’s this type of cookie-cutter method to presence, often it is individuals being genuine, sort of bringing themselves as one thing they care about. So, I believe it is a good place to start out for remembering there is not any excellent presence.
Helen Tupper: So, that’s the finish of at this time’s ability, and we’ll be again tomorrow with judgment.