The opposite day, I used to be requested a VERY, VERY private query…
How have I managed to go so lengthy with out intercourse?
Wow. Uhm. Fairly daring query there. And personal. Sheesh!
I’ve to confess, I stammered round, embarrassed by the query. It’s not one thing I actually speak about, however the extra I thought of it, the extra I noticed that it NEEDS to be talked about. As a result of it IS attainable, to stay pure exterior of marriage.
The world would love you to assume it’s not, and we will agree that temptation is in every single place. Issues are thrown in our faces each day and it’s robust to actually cope with that.
I do know this submit will actually assist lots of people and so, I’m going to place my shyness away on the subject and share the right way to cope with temptation (of any sort). 🙂
Methods to Cope with Temptation
Temptation is throughout us. It’s in every single place you look. Even when you lived as a hermit, you’d nonetheless be tempted. It’s simply not one thing that you could get away from. And but the Bible calls us to flee temptation.
So how do you flee temptation (2 Timothy 2:22) when it’s in every single place?
The very first thing is to ensure your MIND is pure.
It begins with the thoughts
Philippians 4:8 is a superb verse to memorize. It may assist you to in quite a lot of conditions. It talks about preserving your thoughts pure, pondering on the fitting issues, righteous issues, not unhealthy issues.
Take into consideration honorable issues, it says. Is what your thoughts is considering HONORABLE? Is it pure? Holy? Like if God was sitting within the chair subsequent to you proper now, listening to your ideas out loud, would you be ashamed of them? Embarrassed? As a result of He IS with us all day, day-after-day. He is aware of our ideas, our hearts, our intentions, our motives. He is aware of every part.
Are our ideas pleasing to Him? Are they holy?
Retaining your thoughts pure, the place sin begins (James 1:14), is vitally vital to the Christian life.
Begin taking discover of the issues that tempt you. Are you tempted sexually if you watch a romantic film? Don’t watch it. Or when you nonetheless need to, quick ahead all of the kissing/love-making scenes. That’s what I do (and I don’t watch something over PG-13). I quick ahead all that, on a regular basis! I don’t want to observe somebody making out if it stirs me up romantically inside.
What about music? Does the music you’re listening to result in holiness? Or is it sensual songs, designed to make you FEEL stuff you ought to not be feeling proper now?
How in regards to the pals or your loved ones that you simply’re hanging out with? Are they encouraging you to be immoral? Do they assume that being pure shouldn’t be helpful? Are they Christian?
Who we hang around with determines quite a lot of our lives and typically, you’ll be able to’t get away from sure folks (members of the family, for instance). In the event you can’t, that can solely add to your temptation, so my greatest recommendation is to refuse to speak about these topics with them and don’t spend any additional time with them that you must, if they’re main you to sin in your coronary heart.
What we let into our minds and who we let into our lives is vital and the Bible tells us to take each thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). It’s exhausting work, however when you nip it within the bud, it’s much better (and simpler) to say NO to, then when you let it linger in your thoughts, the place it could so simply take root in your coronary heart.
Make a agency, unbreakable promise to the Lord
One of many tips I’ve finished is to make a vow to the Lord that I can’t have intercourse exterior of marriage and to this date, I by no means have. It’s been over a decade since my ex-husband deserted us, and I gotta say, it has NOT been straightforward. In all probability the HARDEST factor about not being married, is that this very matter. It’s simply robust. However I’m residing proof, it CAN BE DONE!!!
I made a vow to the Lord, lengthy, way back, that I might stay pure. And since I do know He takes our vows very critically and punishes us a terrific deal if we break them, it provides that additional motivation for me to proceed to obey Him, regardless of when I’m tempted.
That will or might not give you the results you want, however for me, it helps and I would like all the assistance I can get to obey Him when tempted.
Have extraordinarily excessive partitions up
Most males will NOT agree with you if you attempt to inform them that you simply don’t need to even KISS till you’re married. It’s simply not finished, proper?! And I get that. However I’m sorry, I don’t assume I might deal with it. I feel if I kissed a man, it will very simply result in different issues BECAUSE it’s been so lengthy.
Don’t be afraid to have extraordinarily excessive partitions. If the man you’re courting doesn’t agree, he’s not the fitting man for you. As a result of the RIGHT man will WANT you to be pure and if that’s what YOU want to stay pure, then he has to grasp you’d be tempted an excessive amount of to sin and perhaps you’ll be able to’t deal with that type of temptation. If he genuinely cares about you, he’ll be keen to do no matter it takes to maintain you BOTH pure bodily.
If he’s pressuring you to do stuff you don’t need to do, which is widespread for males to do, it is advisable stand agency and inform him no. Flee the scenario. Present him you imply enterprise and also you’re not keen to compromise as a result of I promise you, he’ll check you that you simply imply enterprise.
Don’t put your self into conditions the place one thing might occur. Hold your children within the room, for instance. It’s actual exhausting to have intercourse with a man in case your children are within the room! Instantaneous temper killer. haha!
Do no matter it takes, to be pure, and to maintain your distance from no matter would entangle you to sin (Proverbs 4:14-15). In the event you’re courting, meaning being someplace public. By no means in a bed room alone or one thing like that. Put up some partitions and hold them excessive till you’re married. When you’re married, you may be with him all you need!
Every individual may have completely different requirements. Possibly that’s not kissing. Possibly that’s one thing completely different. Every individual shall be completely different, however know your limits and don’t go close to no matter these limits are for YOU.
Perceive that God doesn’t tempt us
James 1:13 makes it completely clear that God doesn’t tempt us. So…motion pictures and music, even family and friends and the world at giant might contribute to our temptation, the place does the Bible say is protected?
The BIBLE itself!
So when you find yourself tempted, learn your Bible!
Pour into it. Let the Phrase of God wash over you. Romans 13:14.
Can’t get to your Bible if you’re tempted, memorize it. Carry it round in your pocket, have a Bible in your automobile. Put Bibles in every single place. Anytime I make a journey to go someplace, a trip or touring, I at all times take my Bible with me. I learn it. On a regular basis. I can’t go away with out it. It’s my sword (Ephesians 6:17)!
By no means let the Bible out of your sight.
In my house, I’ve a Bible in nearly each room in my home. The one rooms I don’t have a Bible in is the kitchen and loos. In every single place else, has a examine Bible in it. It’s at all times close to to me and I open up my Bible at LEAST 20 completely different instances a day, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. with out fail.
When my thoughts is targeted on God and HIS will, issues like temptation have a barrier they should cross and I’ve to allow them to, to ensure that them to get into my thoughts.
It’s like an athlete who trains for a marathon. He runs each single day, proper? He’s coaching, getting higher, working exhausting at competing.
Your thoughts, your holiness, your sanctification is WAY extra vital than athletics as a result of it’s about eternity. Your physique is right here for perhaps 80 years, your soul is ceaselessly. Investing in your soul is sensible.
Practice day-after-day and hold your self freed from issues that derail you, by placing on a protecting barrier, the Phrase of God. It is going to permeate your thoughts and assist hold your thoughts protected when you find yourself tempted. It’s simpler to say NO.
Perceive that you simply’re going to fail when tempted typically
A pair weeks in the past, I used to be tempted for one thing in a completely completely different topic. I used to be SOOOOO tempted to do one thing. I actually wished to and it was very robust to stroll away. I instantly cried out to God to assist me. “Lord, I don’t need to do that, please assist me not do it,” I begged Him.
He gave me the energy to stroll away and I did.
Subsequent day, I used to be tempted once more. I didn’t do it. I walked away.
The third day I used to be tempted but once more and that point I failed. Ugh. I did what I didn’t need to do (this was not having intercourse exterior of marriage; I’ve NOT failed in that space). 🙂
Generally, you’ll try to try to try to TRY your hardest and you’ll fail anyway.
If you fail, it’s okay. Repent, convey your requests to God and don’t do it once more. Don’t simply hold sinning since you failed. Cease doing it and don’t do it once more. Hold attempting actually exhausting to obey the Lord and to flee temptation. Finally, you’ll get lots higher at it and strengthen your self.
Solid your burden on the Lord (Psalm 55;22). He is aware of you’re combating it, however He ALSO sees you’re attempting and your attempting is pleasant Him. You please Him if you attempt to obey Him. He is aware of we’re human and we fail, however get again up, mud your self off and hold plugging away, attempting your very best to obey.
God rewards your faithfulness
As I discussed, I’ve been devoted to not do something unhealthy exterior of marriage and I KNOW that God will reward that. I’ll discover a man who believes the identical factor I do and we may have an AH-mazing marriage as a result of we each put God first and are keen to obey Him at any price.
God rewards our faithfulness. He’ll present me with a godly husband as a result of I’ve been so devoted.
Give it some thought. If I might have been sleeping round this entire time, I couldn’t GET a godly man. A godly man wouldn’t need me. I’ve to be godly myself with the intention to get a godly man (and vise versa), so I do know, simply in that alone, I’ll have a godly man as my future husband as a result of I personally am godly. I qualify for an excellent man’s guidelines of him wanting a pure lady. <3