I am about to handle somebody who thinks we’re good pals, however we won’t be — Ask a Supervisor

A reader writes:

I’ve accepted a administration function in a brand new staff my firm has arrange. My coworker additionally utilized for the function (unbeknownst to me on the time). She was not provided the job, however was provided one of many staff roles so now I shall be her supervisor. I discovered this out earlier than her and was initially involved that she is likely to be upset, however the reverse drawback has occurred: she is delighted and is telling everybody that if it wasn’t to be her, she would have wished it to be me as we’re so shut and nice pals. She can be saying that our staff shall be superb with each of us on it.

I’m not a really demonstrative particular person however she is. Up till now, I’ve been tremendous along with her suggesting hugs when she’s completely happy or certainly one of us has a birthday, and so forth. I wouldn’t have described us as any nearer than any of my different colleagues, however I believe she feels otherwise. Beforehand it appeared imply to make this clear because it wasn’t inflicting an issue.

I’m involved that until I nip this within the bud earlier than we begin our new roles, we are going to each find yourself trying unprofessional, different members of the staff shall be upset at our being “shut” (in keeping with her), and she or he goes to get a horrible shock with regards to efficiency administration. She is nice at what she does and I believe she shall be an asset to the staff, however I need to sensitively tackle this so she doesn’t develop into defensive or lose face.

I reply this query — and two others — over at Inc. in the present day, the place I’m revisiting letters which were buried within the archives right here from years in the past (and generally updating/increasing my solutions to them). You can learn it right here.

Different questions I’m answering there in the present day embrace:

•  Am I being a scrooge about my worker’s lunch break?
• Shopper desires to watch our work in a bizarre and invasive manner